celibacy

I have made the conscious choice of celibacy. I thought this would be a hard thing for me, but I quite enjoy it. Turns out there's a lot more feeling of power and control in not having sex with anyone.

I love smiling and politely declining when I'm made offers to come home with someone. I get the same feelings of being desired without the consequences.

My original thought was 3 months, but I'm going on month 4 and have no desire to find a conquest or be a conquest. I honestly don't know if or when I'll have sex again.

In other news...I had my blood tested again. It's still strange, but they cannot find any reasons in the autoimmune category of diseases. There is still the fear that there is some kind of sickness or cancer somewhere in my body that no one is able to detect thus far.

I had an incredibly hard year last year, but so far, this one is wonderful. I am happier than I ever have been in my entire life. The goal is to not fuck that up.