new guy

So, I met this guy a few weeks ago when I was out with Tami. His friend and Tami have gone on a few dates and the 4 of us have hung out on several occassions. I was pretty sure, in my drunkeness, from that first night of hanging out that he liked me. Also, in my drunkeness I tried to get him to makeout with me, but he wouldn't. He told me I'd never go for him because he was a "good guy." I told him he was wrong.

Last Thursday was a little debaucherous and I was the host of this post mortem valentine's day charity event that was a complete success even with the thundericesnowrainstorm we had all day. Anyhow, Brandon made this "spank me" heart for me and things got a little out of control. A couple of guys spanked me and I asked new guy (Brian) if he wanted to spank me. He replied, "I think enough guys have spanked you tonight Rachel."

And I just looked at him with this puppy dog face because the tone of his voice was a bit hurtful. He then back peddled a little bit and said, "it's not that I don't want to spank you, but I'd rather do it in private when it's just the two of us."

hmmmm....

Tami did a little digging with her new guy and said to me, "i swear I heard him say that Brian was waiting for marriage."

Shocking.

And I can't figure out why a guy like that would like a girl like me.

So, they both came out for Tami's birthday last night and I was so super glad to see him. In my opinion we were so super cute together. Sitting next to each other playing Who Wants to Be a Millionaire and there was lots of nonverbals and lots of touching.

I have a sailor's mouth. I was really trying to keep it clean, but sometimes words just fly out of my mouth. The first time it was, "Rachel, what's with the language?" And I explained how I come from a family of potty mouths. But I tried to watch it. So, everytime I swore, he'd simply say, "Rachel, language."

And then I was telling him about how I woke up yesterday morning at 7 AM and thought it was Monday thinking I had to work. He said, "well, once you figured out it was Sunday, did you go to church because it was so early?"

I giggled. Me? Church? I mean I go when I visit my grandmother, but I have never been to church here unless someone's kid was getting baptized or someone was getting married. But then I back peddled and said, "ya know, i probably should have."

I think my liking him grows because he challenges me to be a better person. Ever other boy I've ever dated likes the crazy, party girl Rachel. Sometimes a little too much. But here's this boy who I don't want to tell those stories too--I don't want to be that girl with and I think it's a really, really good thing.

Not to mention he's totally the antithesis of Jacob right now and I need that.

I just don't really know if he could ever be with a girl like me. And I'm not being self-defeating or self-deprecating...I just really wonder.