cyberly yours

He lives this crptic message on one of my benign myspace blogs and they only thing that upset me was how he used my words as his closing line. He's always talking about being original and that was so not original.

I don't know what he wants from me. Did he just write it so I would see the new picture of him and married slut and her not-so-attractive child?!? Overall, it just makes him look like an asshole.

I didn't respond. I didn't acknowledge it. I have seemingly ignored that it's even there looking in my cyberspace world. Then I get this message from a private page that had no picture and no information, but now has a picture of some old guy with the name "I know what you did":

you look like a mother fucking slut bitch hoe cunt asshole

This is the first time in my life someone has seriously taken some time and effort to let me know how much they hate me. In fact, I don't think I've even ever had anyone outwardly hate me with such vehemence. And I certainly do hope it's someone who knows me cuz it would be way creepier if it was someone I didn't know.

I'm sick. Very, very sick. And I don't mean mentally. I mean, can't breathe, coughing up pieces of lung so hard I puke sick.

I was taking a hot shower and when the water started to go cold realized I hadn't washed my hair or anything. I had just been standing there for god knows how long. I was thinking about all this stuff. Trying to figure out what the puzzle is I'm trying to solve.

I was thinking about future chess moves. I was thinking about how I don't want to think about it anymore. I was thinking about sex. Sex with him. Sex I've had since and wondering what the next encounter will look like, smell like, taste like.

Then I came back to cyberspace and found a note from my brother suggesting he and another one of my siblings go to Japan next spring. Sounded like the perfect adventure to write a book about if you ask me.