It's just life
I want life in every word to the extent that it's absurd.


Thursday, Apr. 26, 2007
Day 102 : Sorrow in High Key B&W (by Rachel.::.K) My best friend, my grandmother, died on Saturday morning. It's not just that she's dead, but that I watched her die. The mind has no place to put this. No neat compartmentalization.

Her last words to me were, "What a rotten fried are you," because I wouldn't take her home. And if you knew my grandma you'd know how funny that was. That was the hardest part...her spirit wasn't dying, just her body.

My relatives and I have all made it explicitly clear how we want to die and how we want to be buried. Me? Cremated, ashes, I don't know where, and a bench somewhere warm and sunny for people to sit and think and say, "hello."

This is the most "adult" I have ever felt in my entire life. My life has been full of made-up dramas, but this, this was more real than I can handle. This coupled with the fact Jacob is moving here in two weeks shows me how exactly life goes. Endings and beginnings and endings and beginnings all over again.

4:54 p.m. ::
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