It's just life
I want life in every word to the extent that it's absurd.

words, words, words

Tuesday, Oct. 24, 2006

11:03 PM - i have nothing to say
Current mood: restless

I have no real intentions with this, but I feel like writing. However, I think most of the thoughts in my head should not come out of my mouth. I'm trapping them in there for the time being. I feel like if they start coming out they won't stop and then where will I be? Words can destroy everything. Words can also create the unknown.

I hold onto words like gems. I remember the most horrible things ever said to me, I also remember the most beautiful. I wonder how my words have affected people?

We sometimes forget we can hurt as much as we hurt. We forget we can destroy other people with words. Stick and stones may break my bones but words can kill me. At least kill the spirit. Kill potential. Kill the soul. Kill a relationship.

Sometimes it is not what we do. It is not our actions that define us but our words. Sometimes words are all you have. Sometimes words and actions do not correlate.

I was in the shower this morning thinking about secrets. Thinking about why we keep secrets. Not secrets we have about other people, but our own secrets. Places we've been, lips we've kissed or want to kiss, money owed, things that make us sad or mad or vengeful. We can use words to hide all of the things we don't want others to know. We can talk for hours and not really say anything of importance. It's quite a skill to keep the words in your head from coming out of your mouth.

So many of us spend so much time dissecting other people's words. The old he said/she said dilemma that has probably been around since man discovered language. What if we actually said what we thought? Actually said what we felt? So much time would stop being wasted. We can spend our energy on saving the world or finishing that novel you've always wanted to write.

There is so much we don't say in order to protect other people. At least, that's what we tell ourselves. I don't believe we protect anyone. I believe secrets tear you apart. I believe holding your tongue should be considered a mortal sin.

Maybe if we all started speaking the truth we would all be happier in the long run. The truth does hurt, but then you can lick your wounds and move forward.

It's all about forward movement.

I guess I did have something to say, and yet, didn't say anything at all.

5:27 p.m. ::
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