It's just life
I want life in every word to the extent that it's absurd.

touble times a billion

Friday, Sept. 02, 2005
She is so totally out of control right now.

As she's out tonight she's thinking of so many people besides anyone she should be thinking about. He lectures her on how she should take better care of herself, drink less, smoke less, "bartender, can you get my friend a drink?'


She goes back to the place she's suppose to stay away from and explains her constant emotional turmoil to her friends. She finds out the most recent and ex-obsession and his best friend lied about the weekend before.

She attempts to be a good person and drive his ex-girlfriend to her new boyfriend's house, but she declines. Shortly there after running into a man whom months ago called her at perplexing times of night. He walks her back to her car where she promptly lets him take advantage of her.

She wants to feel beautiful. She wants to feel wanted.

"We need to go to my house so I can properly fuck you."

She takes him to where mutual friends are and as he walks up the street she drives away.

She doesn't want him. He doesn't make her feel the way she wants to feel.

Coming home, she sees her latest encounter is online and wants so badly to invite him over even though she needs to be at the airport in 3 hours.

Wondering when she will ever be good enough for herself.

4:11 a.m. ::
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