It's just life
I want life in every word to the extent that it's absurd.

I need to find better, heathier, stories to tell.

Sunday, Aug. 29, 2004
Had quite the adventure Friday night.

Dinner with Megan--Yummy Italian food which reminded me of so many things from College--but that's another story for another day. Went to 3 to see John Acquaviva spin his magic. He's my most favorite d.j. It was a night filled with frustration with C.J., drunkeness, stolen martinis, and lots of fun with Julie and Mandy.

Afterbar at Vinnie & Evan's. At the bar Mandy gave me a chocolate wrapped in aluminum foil and says, "I'm the Easter Bunny tonight--trust me, only eat half."

I'm so drunk by the time we get to Vinnie's, I'm in the bathroom digging through my purse and decide to eat the whole chocolate thiking to myself, "why was it that I was only supposed to eat half?"

Everything became crystal clear and I spent most of the night hiding out on the upstairs porch looking at the leaves on the trees and feeling the rain and talking to Char on the phone.

At one point I decide I need to go home. I didn't drive and Julie is in the kitchen doing shots, so I know there's no way she's taking me home.

So, I call Colin.

Who promises he's going to come and get me as soon as he finishes closing up the bar. Half an hour passes and I call him again, "seriously, if you're not going to pick me up then I'll find someone else to take me home."

"Babe, give me 10 minutes to get these bozos out of here and I'll call you back to get directions."

I then have this overwhelming feeling he's not going to come get me.

I give Julie my phone so I don't call him again and sink into Vinnie's wonderful couch where everyone is watching Secretary. I've seen this movie before, but it's really intense when you've eaten to many mushrooms.

I'm sitting there getting angrier and angrier and go out to the porch to smoke another cigarette where I get angrier and angrier because it's now been an hour since I last called him (it's 5 a.m. by this point f.y.i).

Julie gives me my phone and I call the bar--no answer. Julie gives me her phone and I call him at home (in case he doesn't answer the call from my phone). He tells me he called me like 10 times and I should check my voicemail. There's nothing on my phone and then he says, "oops, must have called the wrong Rachel."

Now, maybe this is true. Maybe this is why we ended up getting into a fight because I couldn't believe he would do that, but really, maybe it's true.

And there I am defending him again.

So I tell him he's a fucker. He says, "oh right, you just wanted me to take you home."

"Actually yes."

"Well, I'm in bed now."

"You fucker."

"And I don't feel like like..."

I hang up the phone and say, "I officially H-A-T-E him."

(sidenote: lately I've been spelling words when I'm drunk--influene of text messaging I think.)

We stay until 6ish laughing hysterically with Vinnie and Aric. And though I have many quotes, none of them will be very funny to most of you because you don't know us. Though, I have to write one down because I have to remember it...Vinnie says to me, in front of the group, "You know what appliance I like? A cute white girl with a sturdy bed." And Julie response with, "That was a totally asshole thing to say."

Aric is one of the guys Julie dated in High School. I've hung out with him once before and I have so much fun with him. He has really messed up teeth though and I can tell he like me because he gets really self-conscious about them when we make each other laugh uncontrollably.

He's moving to Maui. At least I'll have someone else to visit there--if and when I'm ever allowed to go to the time share condo again. I was supposed to go this year, but my parentals have screwed me once again on that.

Anyhow, Julie and I then stayed up until 7:30 talking about our dysfunctional fathers and finally fell asleep. Though, I didn't really sleep because I was so hot for no apparent reason.

Spent all day in bed yesterday after making phone calls to Char, C.J. and Larissa. Julie also called a few times.

Today is Julie's Birthday BBQ. It's cold and rainy out so I imagine will be in Tami & Jenny's apartment. I don't know how long I'll be able to pretend to not hate Tami. Things are okay with her as long as Colin is not around and Colin's name is brought up.

The other night when I was sitting on the porch I thought, "this isn't my life. This is not how I want my life to be."

The only problem is, this is how my life has always been and I don't know if I can live it any other way. I don't know if I want to stop the stories.

I need to find better, healthier, stories to tell.

9:14 a.m. ::
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